You bastards ought to go do something fucking fruitful with your damned lives. According to statistics from the Straitjacket Times, fifty fucking MILLION of you are filling up bandwidth writing about your pathetic lives and it has got to stop.
It's true. You jerkoffs, numbering fifty damned million are so damn vacuous that you need to tell the world about your fucking pathetic existence just to feel some sense of self worth. Of the fifty million I can bet my fucking bottom dollar that 49 million of you are just empty airheaded baboons with bloody opposable thumbs that barely qualifies your entry to the human race. It is up to civic minded people like the Evil Atheist to do something about it.
Fifty million. Do you retards know how fucking big that number is?! It's one in every fucking hundred of you. Count the numbers of cousin-fucking dickwads living in Bumfuck Alabama, the ape-creatures of the Sudan and the odd jihadi jackoff in Tehran out and that number just shoots up to about one in fucking ten. Do you even realise how powerful a tool you fucking have in the internet? And all you cumbubbles can use it to is to write about how loudly you screamed when you got your dick caught in your fucking flies?! You make me fucking sick. You could have used your fucking weblogs as alternative media (like www.smirkingchimp.com), you could have used it to raise awareness about social stigmas associated with certain types of people (like http://aidsblog.blogspot.com), hell you could have just helped bring a smile to someone's face by seeing things from a different point of view (like http://bkkstreetdogs.blogspot.com/) or even used it to beat some sense into your fellow man (like www.evilatheist.com) but no. You piece-of-shit by-products-of-unsuccessful-abortions wanker-assholes just can't get beyond your own pathetic existence and just can't get over the idea that somehow you're fucking special. Bull-fucking-shit. You are all pathetic, narcissistic, appraisal-seeking, ignorant, apathetic sacks of fucking horse-excrement, and you can quote the Evil Atheist on that.
What the hell do you have to say that needs to be said about yourself? Do you really think the world gives a shit about you? Let the Evil Atheist clue you in, dickholes. It does not. Your narcissism is fucking unhealthy. The time you spend telling that inbred bunch of retards you call "friends" what you did when you broke a fucking nail can be better spent trying not to waste my damn oxygen and putting yourself to some good use. Instead of which you go about spreading that one thought that occured in that shared brain cell in those microcephalic crania of yours, and now the Evil Atheist, out of the goodness of his fucking heart has to go about to gently show you how truly fucked up your mind is.
So the forty-odd million rat-bastards need to realise a few things. I am doing this because I fucking love you all and want the best for you. No, not really. I hate you all and I hope you all choke on your own pukes, but the least I can do is give you fair warning. You say I am just a bitter angry man who seems to get off writing expletive-laden rants? You bet your ass I am a bitter, angry man. Any sane person would be, watching the forty odd million of you, running around fucking things up wholesale so clam up already, and pay attention. Empty your brain of all thought. There. That wasn't too hard, was it? Now listen up, fuckblintzes.
1> Your point of view on anything is wrong. Dead wrong. Chances are, you have never been right about anything apart from the fundamentals that keep you fucking alive, and even those are involuntary. Even nature doesn't trust you with brains and thoughts. They has no value to anyone apart from your own fucked up self. Shut the fuck up. Read, analyse, form opinions and write. That's how the fuck your opinions will have any fucking worth. If your views mattered we would still be living in caves deciding if rocks were edible. Shut the fuck up for a change.
2> You are not making a fucking revelation to the world by telling it about what you are feeling today. The only thing I want to feel right now is my boot up your fucking ass.
3> You are not a queen/princess/goddess/diva. Newsflash, you are never going to be one. You're an attention-seeking insecure bitch who has false delusions of grandeur just because some creature vaguely resembling a human being paid some attention to you. You ought to shut that vapid opening you call a mouth and devote your fucking life to doing something useful, like getting killed in hilarious ways on national television. Breaking up with your 50th boy/girlfriend over who gets to walk on the left side of the road does not make you a fucking poet, nor does it suddenly endow you with talent for anything other than not letting your hand fly and hit you in the nose when jerking off. Stick to your day job (washing cars).
4>Just because something happened to you, does not make it news. Other people have shit happen to them too. It's just that the smarter ones tend not to crow it to the whole fucking world. If you really want shit that happens to you to become news, stand in front of a speeding train. Your pureed remains will be great news, for about a day at least.
5> Your poems/short stories/novels/dramas/whateverfuckyouwrite sucks donkey-balls. End of Story. You are allowed to be an ignorant fuckstick with no talent but there is no need to inflict it on the rest of us. You have no talent whatsoever. There are retarded amoebae found in diarrhetic stools with more talent than you, and the sooner you realise it, the quicker you would get off your ass and do something about it.
6> No one cares what music you are listening to. If you're music tastes are anything like your writings, you ought to commit suicide right now, and castrate yourself just in case your seed actually breeds with some pond scum to produce more of you (considering the genetic swill in your chromosomes, that is a very real possibility). Only people who have their hollow heads six feet up their asses would actually think that everyone in the fucking world needs to listen to whatever crap bandwagon they happened to hop on at any given fucking time.
7> Spell right. Some of you write like chimpanzees banging away randomly at a keyboard. If you can't figure out the spellings of three letter words, chances are you will always be thought of as an ignorant hayseed. You should work on improving.. oh fuck it, kill yourself so your genes won't continue to pollute the human gene pool. That is the greatest help you could do for the human race.
8> If you really want to hear what others say about your vapid outpourings, keep your fucking mind open. Any friend of yours who always agrees with you wholeheartedly on everything is someone who you ought to stay away from. No one can be that fucking stupid and mindless without being high on something illegal. It takes a very,very, very stupid person to be you, now what are the odds that there could be someone who is just like you? Pretty fucking unlikely right? Right.
9> Be fucking original. Find something you're passionate about that does not involve your own pathetic selves. It is not that hard. Your blog would have much more meaning if you use it to promote issues you are interested in rather than telling the world about the contents of your fucking handbag. If the only things you are passionate about are cars, shoes and bags, do us all a favour and just shut the fuck up. We have heard everything there is to hear about these things and you are adding nothing new to the debate. Take that opinion of yours and stick it up your ass. It has better use there.
10> And most of all, remember this. You are not special. YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL. Got that? You Suck. Yes, you. Take a deep breath and say it after me, slowly now, "I FUCKING SUCK". Do not blame the Evil Atheist for being honest. Blame yourself because the first step to treatment is acknowledgment that you have a problem. There is hope for you yet (though, not much).
Fans of the Evil Atheist, please help him help these inbred spawns of Satan to see the error of their ways. It's too much for just the Evil Atheist to handle. There are 49 million souls to treat, and the rewards are slight but useful in our evolution.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
What the fuck is wrong with you?
If you don't like to read something, don't read! Why piss yourself off reading the sites of people who prefer to write about themselves? Not only are you a voyeur,you are a sick one at that. Instead of deriving pleasure from this pastime, you are hurting yourself. Kinda strange is it not?
You used to complain about bloggers. Now you are one yourself. Don't go ranting about how you are not the usual blogger and all that balb blab blab. Fact is, you are. You think you are The Special One? Oh no. You are definitely not the Jose Mourinho of internet rants so don't kid yourself about it. The only difference with you and that stupid slut (you know who I'm talking about of course) is that you express yourself in proper English , whereas she resembles an ET who just picked up a keyboard for the first time.
People have a right to write about what they want on their sites. If I wanna write about what I had for breakfast or how some shithead screwed me up, it's my prerogative.If you aren't happy, you can jolly well click on the 'x' button or the BACK icon. It's time people do what they preach. If you want to talk about human rights, make sure you respect the rights of others first before you go lambasting people for CHOOSING not to be intellectual bastards and philosophical wisecracks. To many of us, what I want for dinner is definitely more IMPORTANT than what that chimpanzee Bush says. And rightly so!
Can't comment, really.
While it is the masses' right to bitch nonsensical bullshit till kingdom cometh, Hades is also right to complain that unreadable gibberish does give a terrible image to bloggers.
*yawn.. you gotta come up with something new.. (how's that for "you're not special either, mister) ;p
awww.. you know i like you.
Post a Comment