The Book of Revealing

For those who are tired of the Thees and Thous, this is in normal english

Chapter 1: On Mike

1. And Mike did rejoice as he saw his book being brought together.

2. 'It's not long, and it's not boring. It's short and snappy and to the point. It does bring great pleasure to me', said Mike.

3. And Hades was pleased.

4. But, Mike remarked, 'It lacks a good ending and that is what you're going to write about'.

5. And Hades sat back to finish up what was the work of great men since the dawn of time.

6. This is the final book on the Wholly Babble, because Mike hates repeating himself, and frankly the world is not all that complicated. Besides, it's time for the Annual Shitblog Awards nominations and Mike thinks that we should prepare adequately for it. This time Mike shall be one of the judges.

7. This last chapter in Mike's awesome, earthshattering work read by a full 1500 people (in total), shall not deal with a future utopia because there isn't any. Eventually everyone will die and the earth will be destroyed when the Sun goes out. End of story.

8. Hell, you should know by now that Mike does not believe in bullshitting you.

9. So in summation, let it be known that Mike does not give a shit whether you believe in him or not. There is no sense in giving money to anyone who claims to know God, because Mike has always been known to everyone through his creation.

10. Mike does not hate you, he does not really love you extra special because you believe in some invisible man in the sky. Frankly he doesn't give a shit.

11. Mike is allergic to prayers.

Chapter 2: On the future
1. The future is what you make of it, but remember that eventually your race will become extinct.

2. The best you can do is prolong your time here, and certainly nuclear weapons are not the way to go about it.

3. Mike made you with abilities to colonise earth and space, so use them. The universe is far beyond anything yoru forefathers ever imagined, and Mike made it that way. No creation story comes close to what actually happened.

4. So go forth, make peace with your fellow man and most importantly, leave them the fuck alone.

5. This is after all the greatest commandment.

THE END

Hades sat back in his chair and looked at Mike.

'Do you think it'll work?'

Mike looked doubtful.

'I hope so. This is after all, mankind's last chance. There are going to be no more saviours, and too many fingers are itching over red buttons that launch nukes. Maybe it's all for the best if the world annihilates itself. At least then I can start afresh and drop the whole idea of sentient beings populating any planet.
Now you can't say I didn't give it a shot.'

Hades patted Mike on the shoulder. Now, let's put this behind us and focus on the great challenge ahead, choosing the Shitblog Awards Winner of 2006.

And hand in hand, they walked back into the computer lab.