The Shitblog Awards 2007 - Nominations now Open

I hate most blogs I see and the only thing I hate more than the blogs themselves are the self-important bloggers who think that just because they breathe, it gives every little event of their lives a level of significance normally attributed to major socio-political events.

I am of the firm belief that blogs, along with SMS technology and television together contribute to the ongoing stupidity of the human race, preventing us from making great inroads into the realms of the unknown. Face it, every second wasted on any of these activities, mentioning objects inserted into sensitive orifices and what was eaten that day for breakfast is a second lost forever. A second that could be used to realize how badly we are being fleeced by the powers that be, a second that could be hell, used to make cutting remarks about how some people think that they are fucking philosophers just because they know how to use the word 'metaphysics'.

So with that preamble, I would like to announce that the “Shitblog Awards 2007” which I started two years ago would carry on this year as well. Last year's Shitblog awards was responsible for the closure of at least three such blogs and this year we hope to carry on the tradition.

The Shitblog, for the newcomers, is the king/queen of all the worst blogs submitted. Words fail to describe the sucktitude of this blog and our only hope is a premature death and/or vital injury to the reproductive organs will prevent the spread of this cancer.

(For those who are the relics of my previous site with the same name, you might recall I did a bit on the “Shitblog awards” with some rather interesting results, including lawsuit threats.)

Nominations are open from today till December. Conditions (Apart from the fact that they must be blogs):

They must truly suck, not just be mediocre and banal (like xiaxue). Please do NOT recommend me blogs like xiaxue or metresexual-me. I want blogs that truly make you want to stick pencils in your ears and/or stab your eyes out. Like this one. Besides, do you want to give these bitches any more traffic than they are already getting?

The language must make you wonder if their originators were born due to an unfortunate accident involving a retarded ape and a drunk iguana, like this one.

The site must be filled with glitzy knickknacks that scream “I am a peptobismol pink bubblegum bitch” or “I am an annoying teenager who has crazy delusions that my current studliness will compensate for my obvious lack of intellect and simian ancestry”.

The site must fill you with a sense of dread, that these people may, given the right conditions, occupy powerful positions in industry or politics.

The blog must be reasonably current, and not something more than two years old. This is because people do change over time and after all, Mike is all forgiving, and is willing to overlook transgressions made by individuals in the past in terms of assault on language and logical thought. It would be even funnier if it is from someone you know and really despise.

That is all I ask of you. Nominate a blog of someone you don't like, or someone whom you think deserves an occasional kick in the nuts, and yours truly will deliver a bag of shit to his/her mailbox.

There will be one winner, two runners up and one or two honourable mentions, depending on how many entries I get.

That's all folks. Go on and search. Results would be out in January. You can view last year's winners here.

Most of those blogs have closed down since, so you are doing a great public service.