Do we really need these kids? - Random Acts of Directed Anger Issue 1

Folks,

Welcome to the latest addition to the Evil Atheist: Random Acts of Directed Anger. Normally, the Evil Atheist's rants tend to make liberal use of foul language, but Random Acts of Directed Anger would specifically rip apart certain subjects with extra venom.

For the inaugural issue, I want you all to take a good look at this article from the Daily Telegraph, and decide for yourself, if we really need these mouthbreathers wasting our precious natural resources.

Helpline for fearful fans of Harry Potter
By Nigel Reynolds, Arts Correspondent

Waterstone's is looking to set up a helpline for fans of Harry Potter because two important characters in JK Rowling's saga will die in the last instalment to be published this summer.

The book chain forecast that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows would become not only the best-selling Harry Potter title but the biggest selling book in history. But that may not bring unalloyed happiness to the nation because of Rowling's warning about the deaths.

Debbie Williams, of Waterstone's, said yesterday: "This could be a similar moment to when Take That split up — there could be a lot of upset teenagers out there. We are looking to set up a helpline for them."


Now I am a reasonable chap. I would think that kids who have been reading this bilge from Rowling since 5 years ago would be old enough to know what is fucking fiction and what is not. Now if they can't make that distinction in their lives, I hope they die and I want them to die. No sympathy from me.

Now if the fact that an anticlimactic juggernaut of a book that has been the culmination of a series of increasingly lost plot-lines, rambling non-issues, and poorly thought out twists in an increasingly stale plot being the largest selling book in history is not enough to make your blood curdle, then surely the fact that the publishers have to set up helplines to handle the fallout of a fake, one-dimensional character or two dying is a sign of the fucking apocalypse. I don't blame the book publisher though, although they are partly responsible for the turd that is clogging up the toilet of humanity's great misdimeanours that is Harry Potter. No, I blame fucking society for producing such fucked up kids. The fact that there are some kids that are so fucking shallow that they need to come up with a helpline to handle the death of two fictional characters shows how fucked society can become at times. Folks, remember this: If you need a fucking counsellor to handle the emotional pain on the bereavement of a fake human being then you need to fucking die. End of argument. Don't give me the "Oh I am lonely and Harry was my only friend". Fuck you.

Where the fuck are our values? Why do we need to save these fucking brat-spawn of upper middle class, sundried tomato-eating, piece-of-shit emotional fuckbuckets who think the world ought to stop what it's doing and listen to their meaningless tantrums about a group of industry-approved fictional characters? Shouldn't we be saving kids who, I don't know, maybe a bit grateful for the intervention? Fuck, if some cunt wants to jump off the fucking Empire State Building, I'll be glad to sit back and cheer her on. We are protecting these fucking kids, mollycoddling them and making them come out thinking just because they exist, they are fucking entitled to everything. Fuck them. Life sucks because Hermione fucking Granger caught anal warts and died lonely, in a pool of her own solid waste? Tough luck, Shitcock. Now get your crying ass to school.

I can bet you five gets you ten that somewhere in this setup, their fucking parents were involved. Campus-liberal, pseudo-intellectual, Volvo-driving, inane, puerile fuckwad parents who think that just because they got fucking kids, the whole world ought to fucking worship them.


Here is the Evil Atheist's view on your kids (inspired by George Carlin's fantastic rant: Fuck the Children): FUCK THEM. You have turned them into fucking attention-whores. They need to learn the hard way that the fucking world does not revolve around them, and that they need to suck up and face life, not be shielded from it at every turn. If they are too fucking dumb to realise the difference between reality and fucking fiction and not know where to draw the line between dreamland and dour reality, the blame lies squarely with you and it should not be the fucking responsibility of the book publisher to handle the fucking fallout. Do us a favour, and kill your kids and then kill yourselves. I can rent you a knife for a reasonable fee.

What the fuck kind of a message are we sending to kids? That it's fucking okay to be a tantrum-throwing, attention-seeking shallow cumbubble?

You know, just out of spite, I hope Harry fucking Potter dies. I hope he dies in some seedy cul de sac, naked, with his brain fried on fucking crack, a giant steel dildo sticking out of his ass and Ron's dick in his mouth. I hope he kills everyone else in the fucking book by giving them anally transmitted HIV too. Now if THAT was in the last book, I would gladly plonk $30 on the counter of fucking Borders to read it.

I am available for childrens' parties by the way. (Thank you, Bill Hicks)