Random Acts of Directed Anger Issue 2 - Fuck Emos

Folks,

I know I am flogging a dead horse with this one. I know that I have mentioned that emos have got to go, preferably in a humourous fashion and that I consider them to be a shitstain on the underwear of humanity. We don't need them, and the sooner they die, the better the world will be.

I know I had made that abundantly clear.

But for some reason, like a sore tooth that you can't quit touching (TM Bill Hicks), I have to revisit this topic, especially in light of this article in the Straitjacket Times about emos.

Let me dissect the pieces, if I may. The article says, and I quote:

But the defining trademark for emo kids has to be the heavily lined eyes and long fringed hair which covers half their face.

The point of that, said emo teen Mervyn Lee, 17, a polytechnic student, is because 'we are tortured souls unable to face the world'.

Oh really, you fucking piece-of-cock, dogfucker? You are a tortured soul in what way? Dad refused to get you that fucking Chemical Romance CD you've been pestering him for the past two hours? Your fucking eyeliner ran out? Got your cock caught in the zipper of your fucking emo jeans? Fuck you, you piece of shit. Tortured soul? Bet your ass your soul will be tortured if I had my way. Not only your soul but also your fucking microcephalic skull. You know what? IF you're fucking unable to face the world, do us all a favour, and kill yourself. Lick a whore's ass, shoot yourself in the groin (in case some emo chick wants to fuck your rigor mortified dick, thus producing more fucked up emos), slit your arm off... anything. As the fucking Nike ads used to say, "JUST MOTHERFUCKING DO IT!" Damn you fuckers are stupid.

The article goes on to say, As it is, some emo teens have penned poems about suicide and death and slashing their wrists to 'ease their pain''.

Now folks, I am not talking about clinical depression and its related symptoms. There are people I know who suffer this shit and it's not funny. But what the fuck does some insect-brained, Pepsi swilling, spawn of a Volvo-driving empty fucking suit have to be fucking depressed about, huh? In fact the article specifically says, When pressed, they admitted there were no issues that were really depressing. Right.

The fuck is wrong with us? Why on earth should we entertain these fucktards who give people with real problems a bad name? What kind of a fucking parent would let their kid do something like this?

Her 16-year-old daughter wears under-sized, worn-out tees over tight black jeans. On weekends, the Secondary 4 girl also wears two lip rings and six earrings on one ear alone.

Mrs Lim recently discovered that her daughter cuts her wrists with a razor. She is trying to get her to seek help.


Am I the only one who sees the solution to this shit? Your fucking kids are spoilt because you're to fucked up to raise them. You need help, not them. Whatever the fuck happened just telling them no? Sheesh... if you can't control them at 14, is it really surprising if they end up face down in the fucking pavement of Stamford hotel at 18?

WHY TEEN CUTS HIMSELF
'It's a form of expression, just like the poems I write. I will go mad if I can't, don't have these forms of release.'
AN 18-YEAR-OLD EMO TEEN

Oh mother of mercy! I don't know about others, but I'd rather be fucking plain batshit crazy and alive, than sane and dead. Waht the fuck is "other forms of release" anyway? Whatever happened to just fucking reading a book or even day dreaming? But then again, if their poetry is an expression of what they really are, I hereby declare a fatwa against these mental midgets, for crimes against literature. Let's all hunt emos for sport.

I am Hades, the one true messenger of Mike, and I have spoken.