Would you take anger management lessons from the Evil Atheist?

Folks,

I am hereby announcing my decision to go into the self help business. Specifically, the Evil Atheist wants to conduct seminars on anger management, depression, and solving life issues. Seriously. I mean so many of the visitors to the Evil Atheist's site claim that he is so angry, so certainly I am fully qualified to do this, no? No? Then explain this to me, fuckers...

Rocker Courtney Love has sparked concern about Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie's plans to work as camp counsellors for children in a TV series, after claiming drugs were readily available at Hilton's recent birthday party.

Who the FUCK would send their kids to a camp run by Paris fucking Hilton?! What possibly could be taught in that camp that kids need to know?! Fuck, when a druggie slut like Courtney LOVE can call you out for stashing drugs, you have no business being around little kids in the first place. Imagine what it would be like spending a day with the Queen Bimbo as she tries to figure out which end of a matchstick is a functional one, or trying to decipher the myriad workings of a fucking camp stove and an electric oven.

The fact that the fucking Foundation for Jewish Camping actually hired these cumbubbles goes to show, religion can really fuck your head up. What the fuck do these two cunts have in common with fucking Judaism?! You know what? I am hoping some of these kids turn out fucked up. If a parent is too fucking dumb to know whom they're sending their kids camping to, they deserve to be murdered in their sleep by those very same fucking kids. Fuck them.


So therefore, the Evil Atheist shall now offer counselling and therapy sessions, a revolutionary new approach to solving all your life's problems within one hour. That's it, one hour. Problems in life? Cannot get along with your pet rottweiler? Your wife ran away with a paraplegic midget? Got your dick caught in the zipper when in bed with that hot dish you've been eyeing since 10th grade? Put your worries behind you, and allow the Evil Atheist to help. He truly cares for you and wants the best for you and your family.

Treatment shall constitute you bitching about your pathetic life for 59 minutes, and me telling you to "Shut the fuck up" in the last. Beats spending a fortune at some overhyped shrink nodding off to sleep at a hundred bucks an hour and making you come back again and again so you can feel worse about youself, doesn't it? No matter what your problem is, you can rant and rave at me, and at the end I shall give you my patented advice that will help you get on with life and pull you up by your socks. Bring your kids along as well, and they will learn much more from the Evil Atheist in one hour than from a night with Paris. Unless you are trying to turn her into a whore, in which case you might want to hide Paris's camera. You're welcome and thank you Denis Leary, you worthless bag of shit.

Consultation fee negotiable, so come on down to the Evil Atheist Happy Fun Centre and try out his patented "Shut The Fuck Up" approach to solving your life issues.