The Father shits his pants... Again

Sigh, this has become an embarrassment. The man is starting to become a laughing stock and the sooner we shut him up, the better Singaporeans will look.

You know you're in trouble when a Singaporean tells you "From now on I am telling everyone I am Malaysian".

In a parliamentary debate (oh shock! We still have those things!) the Father was challenged (yes, apparently one of the chumps there found his testicles that day). In a debate that he will not forget in a hurry, he was asked what was the need for paying him and his ilk US$2 million a year when all he probably did these days was try not to eat and drool at the same time. The Son already draws said paycheque and well, with Singaporeans still nowhere near the "Swiss" standard of living promised in 1995, there were enough MP's with the gumption to challenge the Father and Son on drawing more money than the President of the US, and the Prime Ministers of the UK, Australia and Hong Kong combined. While he was asking that, he might have also questioned the wisdom of paying RETIRED ministers a million a year but let's not expect too much from these beauties in Parliament. It is hard to ask questions when your lips are jousting for place on the bottoms of the Father and the Son. Even asking a question of this sort requires a class of courage not often seen in those hallowed halls.

The Father's response was as usual acerbic, sharp, precise, and completely irrelevant. Apart from pissing off Europe and the rest of the region, it showed an abysmal failure to grasp basics of logic and proved to me that indeed, the Father was starting to experience a second childhood, with simple ideas and simple thoughts clouding his little brain.

The MP's question was short enough: He questioned the need for such high salaries for ministers and top civil servants to prevent corruption. He said Singapore ranked below Finland, Denmark and Switzerland, in a UN report on how corrupt a country is, but these countries pay their top civil servants less than Singapore.

Not a very smart way of putting it, you say? Too timid you think? Well I am sure the poor man was already quaking in his boots when he tabled the question, and tried to sugar coat it as much as possible.

But all that was lost on the Father. He responded with his usual candour and "wit" thus: Does he realise that Singapore's GDP is only one-third of its external trade? Our external trade is 3 1/2 times that of our GDP, higher than Hong Kong. And if this economy ever falters, that's the end of Singapore and its First World status. Denmark, Switzerland and Finland are part of Europe. You can fail and you're still caught in the European situation. If you fail here, you go back to a Southeast Asian situation. Just look around you,"

The first thing that came to my mind was "what the FUCK has that got to do with corruption?". The Father seems to think that just by responding like an angry, spoilt brat somehow gives his words more value than they deserve. What on earth does the fact that Singapore's economy is trade centred have to do with ministerial pay and government corruption? The second question that came to my mind was: So WHAT if those countries are in Europe? How can that mean that they can "afford" to fail? Doesn't the All Knowing Father know that Switzerland and Finland are not in the European Union? What the fuck does "Caught in the European situation" mean? And what the fuck was he trying to say by saying " If you fail here, you go back to a Southeast Asian situation. Just look around you"? Just look around me for what?! From what I see, MAlaysia and Indonesia are doing very well economically. Thailand as well, despite being shaken by the tossing out of Thaksin. Vietnam is developing into a regional powerhouse and even fucking Laos is starting to get its act together. I would think "being caught in a Southeast Asian situation" is a good thing no?

"So is the Minister Mentor saying that without paying such a high salary, we are bound to fail? And even if we pay top earners' salary, can the present government bring Singapore up to superpower (status), as what he has mentioned for those in Denmark?" challenged Mr Low, MP for Hougang.

"I am putting a simple question and asking for his clarification. He has compared Singapore as if it were Denmark, Finland or Switzerland. Their systems and governments never produced the kind of transformation that we have, and their system and government have a broader base and can afford a mediocre government," said the Minister Mentor.

Now I am a pretty reasonable man. Let us look at just one instance: Finland, the Poorest of the Three. Finland was ravaged by World War 2, received nothing in return, was run to the ground by commies till 1991 and built the economy back up pretty much from scratch to become an industrialised powerhouse it is today with a GDP per capita of US$40000. Compare that with Singapore, which had a pretty easy post WW2 history, with the Brits providing infrastructure and development, perfect nexus for a port and little or no political turmoil since 1950's (fuck Konfrontasi) and a GDP of US29800. I would say that Finland had a greater transformation, natural resources notwithstanding, than Singapore but the fuck do I know? I am not The Father.

Also, sadly he did not explain what the fuck he meant by "their system and government have a broader base and can afford a mediocre government". Probably the Father was talking about his new toilet fixture, I don't know. How on earth does one conclude that countries like Switzerland, Denmark and Finland have "mediocre" governments when they are doing so well and in fact far better than Singapore, I'll never know.

The Father wants 3 million? I have a revolutionary idea. Let us pay the Father 10 million. Yes, 10 million just so he shuts the fuck up and not make Singaporeans look like complete dickwads to the world. I would consider it money well spent.